Working With Challenging Clients

How many of you have worked with a client who just wouldn’t budge?

You’ve shown them the path, cleared every obstacle, and even cheered them on, but they just sit there—paralyzed, frustrated, or waiting for you to do the heavy lifting.

Sound familiar?

It all comes back to the stages of change readiness:

• Precontemplation: “What problem?”

• Contemplation: “Okay, there’s a problem, but I’m not sure I can fix it.”

• Preparation: “I think I’m ready to make a change.”

• Action: “Let’s do this!”

• Maintenance: “I’ve got this… until I don’t.”

Most clients hover in contemplation—acknowledging the problem but stuck on the fence. Progressing them forward requires a mix of empathy, clarity, and action-oriented strategies.

Let me tell you about Theo.

Theo was a 150-pound bullmastiff. Big, strong, clever—and outrageously stubborn. One day, a box of Kleenex blocked his path through a doorway. Instead of stepping over it (or around it, or on it), Theo threw a full-blown tantrum. He stomped, huffed, puffed, and demanded someone move the box for him.

Of course, we always did.

Theo knew that if he held out long enough, someone would cave. Why bother trying when we’d solve the problem for him?

Sound like any clients you’ve worked with?

As coaches, we often find ourselves “moving the Kleenex” to keep clients happy. It feels like kindness, but it’s not. Empowerment doesn’t come from us clearing the way—it comes from helping them learn to step over the box themselves.

Here’s the tough truth:

Some clients don’t act because they’re scared or unsure.

Some refuse because they know we’ll do the work for them.

And sometimes, we enable them by prioritizing short-term comfort over long-term growth.

What does this mean for you? It means asking:

Are you moving Kleenexes instead of fostering real growth?

When a client resists, do you lean on empathy, accountability, or both?

And when you fail to help a client progress, do you examine your role in the process?

Handling challenging clients is where true coaching happens. Action—not perfection—drives results. Your approach in these moments will either propel your client forward or keep them stuck.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Have you worked with a “Theo” before?

How do you balance empathy with accountability?

Keep Raising the Bar,

Paul Oneid MS, MS, CSCS